I really do feel crazy. Maybe I am crazy. Who knows.
There’s so much bad inside of me, it feels like. I feel like nobody knows the true me. What if I’m a sociopath? What if I’m schizohrenic? What if this isn’t OCD but it’s a personality disorder? What if I’m really this awful person? What if the thoughts, the fears, what if they’re all real? What if I am all of the horrible things I fear I am?
I don’t deserve friends, I don’t deserve to be cared about, I don’t deserve love. Not if I’m that awful person.
I’m hurting so so bad. Maybe I deserve it. My brain is so fucked up and I don’t know what to believe anymore.