I have been avoiding things lately, not tuning in. I am very aware of this. I need to talk, I need to write. But I don’t want to. I want to continue avoiding. So, a compromise…not writing, but, a list.
I am avoiding…..
–Allowing myself to grieve for my brother
–The anticipation of returning to college after summer
–Thinking about the dreams I’ve been having lately, that have a lot to do with various traumatic situations
–Acknowledging that I am in a place where I need, and want, to talk about past traumatic experiences…because who would I talk to about them, and what would I say
–The increase in OCD thoughts and fears
–The reasons why I spent all of yesterday in an intense depersonalization fog.
–The fact that at the moment the anxiety has mounted so much that it’s hard to breathe.
–Allowing myself to grieve for my brother
–The anticipation of returning to college after summer
–Thinking about the dreams I’ve been having lately, that have a lot to do with various traumatic situations
–Acknowledging that I am in a place where I need, and want, to talk about past traumatic experiences…because who would I talk to about them, and what would I say
–The increase in OCD thoughts and fears
–The reasons why I spent all of yesterday in an intense depersonalization fog.
–The fact that at the moment the anxiety has mounted so much that it’s hard to breathe.
How the heck do I even begin tackling this list?